I have never thought of myself as an overly emotional person. Maybe I have just become really good at suppressing my emotions, or perhaps it is a part of my genetic makeup and inherent disposition. Most days I am pretty even keeled, being able to put my emotions in check and look at life rationally and objectively.
It has been 24 days since my strabismus surgery and I find myself experiencing a whole new world of vision, being, and emotion. Each time I now look in the mirror I have to ask myself, "is this the real Michelle I am seeing?" It is startling to see my two blue eyes staring straight back at me. The person I now see in the mirror is the one who should have been born -- the one who should have been living these 44 years --but as fate would have it, a different one emerged, one with a disfigurement so noticeable it was impossible to hide. I hardly recognize myself now when I look in the mirror. I am learning to embrace the reality of a whole new way of seeing and being. To be honest, the reality of this new life hasn't quite hit me yet.
But something has struck a loud chord with me and given me the courage to proclaim to the world a message of hope. My videos are posted on YouTube and by searching key words, folks are able to find my videos and blog on the Internet. I have already had thousands of views and am developing many followers. Recently I have heard from several people, who have suffered with the same debilitating deformity all their life, tell me that they are joining me on my journey and are now seeking treatment for their strabismus. I cannot tell you how much this means to me -- to know that my simple act of being transparent, honest and real about my condition and publishing my steps towards seeking treatment has already made a difference. It encourages me to seek out others and share my journey of hope.
Warning: The following video contains emotionally charged footage. I choose to put my pride aside and am compelled to post it in hopes that others may be encouraged by my message of hope. If you or someone you know is living with strabismus, know that there is a whole new world out there -- follow me.
